Thursday, December 15, 2011

A Letter from my Hubby

Oh.My.Goodness. Do I have a treat for you. My incredible and loving husband has agreed to write a little guest post! You have no idea how happy this makes me. He has the most wonderful heart, he loves the Lord, he loves me, and he loves our daughter. And he loves the blog. What more could a girl ask for? Lets give him a warm welcome!

Hello to all of my wife’s great readers.  I am sure that I will not be as articulate and witty as my charming wife, but I will try my best. The holidays signal the end of the year, and always brings about a time of personal reflection for me. Not to be totally cliché but I do the whole New Year’s Resolution thing or as I like to call it striving to be less of a tool.

As I look back over the last year, I am absolutely amazed at how much my life has changed. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for the overwhelming, wonderful, and earth shattering event that having a child is. This first year of fatherhood has been an amazing journey and I fall more in love with my wife and daughter every day. However, this new role in my life has caused me to really pause and take a look at who I really am and who I want to be for them.
I think back to the father I remember growing up with as a child. I remember him being a strong presence within the home. He was strong, loud, joyous, adventurous, and a spiritual leader. All of these attributes (in connection with the wonderfully loving and comforting character of my mother) made me feel that I was safe and a part of something special together with my family. I remember my father on his knees praying and doing a devotional every morning he was home. But something happened to my father. He lost (or threw away) all of the attributes that made me feel safe and proud to call him my father. His turnaround was in such an intensely nasty and dramatic fashion that it made me wonder if I had imagined who I thought he was.
Holding my beautiful daughter in my arms for the first time brought such an intense rush of happiness and love. But with these wonderful emotions came fear. It immediately made me question myself: "What if I fail her as a father? I have similar attributes as my father. What if I cause her the same pain he's caused me and my siblings? I come from a tainted, shameful stock. What if I can't break the chain of wicked behavior that weaved its way into my family. I'm doing good now, but how soon till I blow it?" These feelings are compounded by what I do for a living. Every day at work I see dysfunction and destruction, particularly amongst families. My job really opens your eyes to the devastation that permeates our culture.
The advice I get on this topic tends to vary depending on who I talk to. it seems to be either of two extremes. "Don't worry you are nothing like that. Everything is going to be perfectly fine" Or "Yes, you are going to mess this up; its inevitable, just do the best you can."
While both of these mindsets have some validity, they are incomplete. I need to know where I come from and the reality of my flaws. If I don't keep reminding myself what I am capable of, I won't be ready for that day of temptation. I also need make sure that I don't drown myself in worry and self-doubt. Otherwise it will hold me captive and I will miss out on all the joy that being a husband and father brings.
Keeping this balance is going to require more from me than the effort that I have put into my personal life thus far. My new years resolution is to try and take more time to talk to the one person that can help me be the best husband and father: my perfect and faithful Father, Jesus Christ.
Already this year I have begun the turnaround. I have started doing a personal quiet time, I have an accountability partner, we host a small group, and I have made a conscious effort to think of ways I can try and lead the family.
I am still a work in progress (aren't we all?) but I feel like there is really hope for a wonderful (albeit imperfect) life with my family. I'm excited about having the adventure together. I'm going to be prepared for when the trials come. I'm going to ensure that as long as I'm living, I will be there for my family when they need me.

My life has changed for the better and the best is yet to come.


  1. Beautiful post! I think that submerging yourself in a community of believers who will support you through your journey of fatherhood will definitely help you focus on how Christ is bigger than your character traits or tendencies. I love seeing men committed to being godly men!

  2. What a wonderful post!! Thanks for sharing with us 5oh Hubby! You should make this a regular thing!

  3. I love that quote so much!! Girls need to grow up knowing what it means to be loved...and loved the right way...the way they deserve. Love that your husband guest posted! Amazing!

  4. This is so great! I've actually got that quote "pinned". (Visiting from Letters to Mo) Great blog!

  5. How amazing and sweet that your husband guest posted! I pray to one day meet a man with a heart like his! How wonderful and blessed your family is!



  6. Someone please tell me how to make a collage like was posted of the different character traits. I would love to make one for my husband's 40th in a few months.....


  7. What a wonderful post. I am happy for the two of you. Have you seen the movie, "Courageous"? When it is released on video, I plan to buy a copy for my boyfriend who is in law enforcement.

  8. how refreshing to see a husbands/fathers perspective. amazing post! thanks for sharing.

  9. What a wonderful post your DH has done! It is so refreshing to see strong and loving men in their rightful position as spiritual leader of the home. My DH too sees the devastation caused to families who lack anything remotely strong, loving or spiritual in their homes. It would be so easy for him to fall into despair, hopelessness, or even temptation himself. But he knows at the end of the shift, the goal is to come back to us; healthy and whole, and knowing that the God who blessed him with such good gifts, it is also faithful to help him take care of those gifts.
    God Bless you this Christmas, and as I tell my honey - be careful out there!

  10. I've read this post several times and am awed each time I read it. How did I ever deserve to be blessed with a son like that? There is an importance to balance in one's life. To recognize the gifts you have been blessed with, to see the potential for destruction that can creep in if left unattended, to have humility in knowing that all blessings come from God and not us, and to not let defeat and failures rob you of the joy that surrounds us daily.
    The gift of family is precious. I am grieved personally of the loss in our family, but never want to forget what we still have!! Its amazing how God gives us more and more family joy each and every passing day. Like reading this blog. Unbelievable joy for me.......

  11. 5ohHubby sounds like one smart guy.