Thursday, March 22, 2012

Happy First Birthday, Reese

Last night as I put Reese to bed I was struck. I laid her down a baby and she would be waking up a toddler. I know every mother of a one year old what?! says this but I honestly can't believe it. You just blink your eye and a whole year has gone by. We had the most incredible birth experience. I would say it was love at first sight, but I loved her from the moment we found out. The day she was born was honestly so peaceful. So full of grace, love, reconciliation, strength and hope for the future. When she was finally in my arms it was like the world truly made sense for the first time.

It's funny, this feeling of having a child. Part of me feels like she just got here. It was just yesterday I felt that soft, soft skin. Yesterday, I looked into those gorgeous blue eyes for the first time and was totally captured. Yesterday, she rolled over for the first time and I called Hubby at work so excited. Yesterday she learned to walk. Yesterday she said Mama and I felt it deep in my soul.


But at the same time it feels like she has been here all along. Our love for her has always bound us closer to Him and closer to each other. Her joyful laugh has always cut through the quiet mornings. Her knowing eyes have always known us, trusted us, needed us, loved us. Her sweet spirit feels as much a part of me as my own breath and I believe I can speak for Hubby when I say the same is true for him. 

I have been so blessed for her to be mine. Although I know she's not really mine... she's His... and I am so thankful for the time that she is here. With us. Filling us with love and reminding us of how raw His love is for us. Full circle, never ending, always and forever love. My love for her literally brings me to my knees and has everyday over the past year.

As a fellow blogger once said "Lord, please, give her every single blessing meant for me." I gladly give up each and every one for her. I beg it, in fact. Last night as I put her to bed I asked for blessing on her life.

Lord, bless her mind. Let her be strong willed and compassionate. Let her stand strong in her convictions. Give her wisdom and discernment. Bless her eyes that she may see the good in people but not be naive to the realities of this world. Bless her heart that she may love indiscriminately... but protect her heart from pain. Bless her lips that her words may be kind always and never say hurtful or untrue things. Let her speak and sing of the glory found in you. Bless her hands that she may work, play an instrument, create, praise, and one day hold a child of her own and know a love like this. Bless her legs that she may run, jump, play sports. Give her feet that ache to explore but always direct her path. Bless her with a long life full of joy and love for you.


Today I will sit down and write Reese in her special journal- keeping track of these cherished memories and dreams for her future. She will get it on her 18th birthday or when she graduates high school- whichever comes second. My hope is that, whether both of us are still here or not, she will know how much we loved her. From the day we found out, to the day she was born, to, this, her first birthday and beyond. There are tears in my eyes for the baby that is now growing up and joy in my heart for the woman I know she will one day be.

Happy First Birthday, my little muffin top. You are nothing short of fabulous.


27 comments:

  1. oh my gosh! so, so precious. happy birthday from san francisco, 5ohBaby!
    and happy wishes to the 5ohMama, too!
    xx jes, www.twosmuppies.com

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  2. So precious! What an amazing journey! She is growing beautifully! You have such a cute little family! Enjoy her while she is so little : )

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  3. So presh! Happy Birthday 5ohBaby! Your momma loves you dearly!

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  4. how is she a year old already? time goes too fast! Enjoy every single minute of it. Happy birthday, dear little girl!

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  5. oh and she has the best mommy and daddy! Happy birthday pretty lady :)

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  6. awhh precious!! Happy Birthday!!! (:

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  7. Happy bday to your sweet baby! enjoy these times, they go forever fast! xoxo

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  8. What a lovely post--it made me feel emotional for you.

    And she looks fabulous indeed in that last photo--precious.

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  9. Aw, happy birthday pretty girl! :) Ashley, I just love seeing how much you've accomplished! You and your beautiful family are such an inspiration for me.

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  10. Happy Birthday to your sweet little one. You brought me to tears with your beautiful words.

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  11. Happy Birthday, gorgeous girl! Ashley, this brought me to tears. I went back and read your birth story and was in tears again. She will never doubt how much you love her.

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  12. So sweet - Happy Birthday to your little princess!!

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  13. Happy Birthday to 5oBaby! She is so precious and you are such a wonderful mommy!

    xo

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  14. There is nothing like the love of a parent! This is such a beautiful post, Ashley. You should just print and paste into her journal. For her to know you shared those exact words with your blog friends from all over the world will be so uplifting for her. She is loved, and you know what? I'll bet she loves you just as much. She just can't verbalize it yet. ;-)

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  15. This is so incredibly sweet. It is amazing the love we feel for our children, isn't it?! Happy Birthday to her!

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  16. So so sweet- you have opened my heart to excitement for my own. The journey the Lord will bless us with is going to be beautiful.
    Happy Birthday 5ohBaby!

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  17. so sweet, i love her!! can't wait to have a little girlie myself :) happy birthday, baby girl!

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  18. Happy Birthday 5oh baby! She's absolutely adorable!! :)

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  19. Aww so sweet! Happy Birthday to your baby girl! It's hard to believe how fast they grow up!

    hope your move went smoothly!

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  20. precious precious precious. SHE is, and YOU are mama. HAPPY BDAY sweet girl!!!!

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  21. So sweet!!! This post made me tear up! (pregnancy hormones!) Happy 1st Birthday to your sweet girl!

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  22. Ahhh.. this is so sweet! Happy belated birthday sweet baby girl!! I can't believe how much she looked like 5ohHubby when she was a baby and now I think she looks a lot like you!!
    Miss your face!!
    xo

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  23. Awww. so cute. My baby is turning one in May. It goes by too quick!

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  24. You have a very beautiful daughter.
    Stopping by from SITS!

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  25. yep. one year old birthdays are sweet and tender and heart-wrenching. that's a beautiful girl and i loved, loved, loved reading that her birth ushered in reconciliation. my girl is certainly a huge vehicle for redemption being worked out in my own life.

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