Tuesday, March 6, 2012

"Real" Housewife

Hey everyone. So, I am weaning Reese and she is doing amazing. In fact, she is totally fine. I, however, am having a really hard time. I'm sorry, but I just can't write about the weaning experience right now. I promise promise promise to write about it before I leave this weekend. But today was the first full day with no nursing and there are a lot of tears... but only mine. So until I get the chance to write this all out and process it, I want to leave you with this post I did for Savannah last month about my life as a "Real" Housewife.

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I always say that I want my blog to be a place where we can laugh together, cry together, and just be real with one another.

But am I being real? Does anyone really know me from reading my blog?
 When you look at my blog, any blog really, it might seem like we lead these perfect whimsical lives. Our children are always well dressed and smiling, our hair is always just so, our husbands make prince charming eat his heart out and the only thing more spotless than our house is our spiritual walk .

Or so it seems.

Everyone knows, or should know, that a blog is just a small part of a person's life that they're sharing with the world. But why is it always this part? This pleasantville-picture-perfect-leave-it-to-beaver life?

Because people out here on the internet judge you based on it. I have a blogging friend who has readers literally dedicate hours to leave nasty comments and write negative posts about her on other websites. I have other blogging friends who have their parenting questioned or their love for their children. Another friend who writes about her journey with weight loss and is worried about posting her actual weight on her site because she knows her high school friends read her blog. I know for myself, people at my husband's job scrutinize every single word I write, often in the hopes of finding something to mock Hubby for.

And that's why we only share this tiny sliver.

Because we are afraid.

Afraid of what people might think.
Afraid of what might be said about us.
Afraid of people judging us.
Afraid of people mocking us.
Afraid that if people knew who we really were, what our house and our lives really looked like then they wouldn't accept us.

So we pose our lives, pose our children, and sometimes even convince our hubby's to pose. Everything is clean and bright and perfect.

But that's not how God sees us.

And it's a good thing, too.

Because, no matter what it usually looks like on my blog, I'm not perfect.

I don't have it all together and neither does my family.

 My daughter isn't always smiling.

My husband works long, hard, weird hours so he misses a lot of events.

Sometimes we skip church, even if we don't have a good reason.

Sometimes my house looks like this.

Ok, a lot of the time.

But the cool thing is, God knows me.

And He loves me anyways.

So, that's where I find who I am.
Not in my stats. Not in my comments.
Not in the "me" I choose to share with the internet, but in Him. 


28 comments:

  1. This is the best and most honest blog post I have ever read and isn't it all true. People aren't perfect. Even without kids and no job in my case... i still have good and bad days. i love sharing the truth on my blog and seeing that.in others too. Thanks! :-)

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  2. I love your honesty and genuine heart! You are such a blessing!

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  3. Very well put, Ashley. It's hard to find that balance between how much and what to share. I'm still getting a feel for that. But in the ultimate sense, you're right that it really doesn't matter what's portrayed on our blogs, because that can never be a true reflection of what's inside of us!

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  4. I love this post. I did wonder how you went with your husbands job and what you can and can't share. My husband is also a policeman, yet I don't really advertise that.

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  5. This post is absolutely perfect. Thanks so much for being so openly honest with us!

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  6. So true very true. Good luck with the weaning - you can do it :)

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  7. You're blog has become one of my absolute favorites. Right now I'm loving the quote - "We might not have it all together, but together we have it all." I can tell you're a great momma and wife, even if life isn't always perfect.

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    1. I love that quote too! Thanks for sharing love

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  8. I love, love, love this post. So honest and real. This is definitely something I struggle with too, wondering how honest I can be...mainly because of Skip's job and my family and real life friends read my blog too, so it's makes me uncomfortable to post things sometimes. It's a tough balance.

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    1. It really is a tough balance. ESPECIALLY when you know your husband's co-workers read. Well, now they know I'm a mess haha

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  9. Great post. I absolutely love your closing statement about knowing who you are in Christ!

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  10. so beautifully put. i am a police officer's wife as well, so your blog name appealed to me... love what i've read so far!

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  11. i love the comfort that comes from finding our identity in Christ! and...i cried like crazy when I quite nursing V. It was so hard. I'm sorry your going through that.

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    1. so many tears. I did not realize it would be this difficult.

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  12. People can be so cruel. I don't really share my personal life on my blog {besides the "light" stuff of course} and this definitely part of the reason why! Thank you for speaking about this.

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  13. I hope that you start feeling better with the weaning experience! :)

    Great post! We are all guilty of getting caught up in the images that we portray to others, but at the end of the day none of that really matters.

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  14. Just keep on posting. People that say anything negative about it aren't worth the energy :)

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  15. So true. I needed this today.
    I am a new "official" follower, but I have been reading your posts for a bit.
    www.bettynolan.blogspot.com

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  16. I love this post, Ashley. I've found that I've spent the last five weeks playing a numbers game, and I'm still trying to change my mind set. That's not why I blogged when it was private and for family and friends only. Why should I blog differently now? Why do I care how many "followers" I have? It's not about the "blogger fame" or being perfect or the best. It's about being our best self.

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  17. this is sooo good and so true... i felt awkward at first sharing what i really go through, posts on depression, struggling parenting, and being myself despite what people think... because i am a pastors kid.. i know church people read my blog.. but ive lived my life charading like everything is perfect, when in actuality i am just a person..loving jesus, with struggles...but he always has pulled me out... i feared even posting what i was really dealing with or making the kind of jokes i really make...because i didnt want to embarrass my family... but it turns out people actually like the reality behind it, because they can relate.. ive had numerous people email me privately and tell me that what i said really blessed them & encouraged them... especially being a pk... people can see we go through "life" just like anyone else.. =) i think its great to be real.. and you can still show the cute pics, and outfits and picture perfect family that we are "sometimes"...but God knows us inside out...its good now and then to give people a "glimpse of reality." (sorry i just posted a blog post under your comments... haha) yo go girl ! =)

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    1. the scrutiny of a pk is really simialar to that of a police wife. I am so glad you are finding you encourage others... it makes it all worth it!

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  18. you are a precious GEM, ashley, and i am praying for you as you wean the little one. this post is amazing. i love your honesty and realness.. thank you for posting this, needed to hear it today!

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  19. Love this encouragement!!! God is ever so faithful!!!!! And don't worry. I cried and cried when I weaned my now almost 2 year old (14 months at weaning time) and even slept with one of her blankets!!! But now I'm loving her independence, and she is so funny! :) It always gets better with time! Praying for you through this process!

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  20. I LOVE this blog post! THis couldn't be more true- our fears are what stop us sometimes from doing great things. Well said! One things for sure...you don't REALLY know anyone from a blog but one thing is for certain---- your amazing heart shines through your blog!!!!!

    XO
    Tiffany

    www.littlemamanista.blogspot.com

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  21. Just found your blog and I think you are adorbs!!

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  22. I just found your blog and I think you are adorbs!! I'll be back soon!

    http://www.ragstostitchesblog.com

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  23. I am a new follower and I am so encouraged by your blog! I'm a new mom (my son is 3 months old) and it's encouraging to see a mom who is a bit further down the road then I am. I am excited to read more about your life, and it's pretty cool to see you being so transparent. I am a blogger too and it's easy to post what shows how great your life is - but it's not always real. So thank you.

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